The Faded Merry Go Round
By Briana Kennedy
I gripped onto the soft baby blue bear.
If I held it any harder it would burst and shower me with soft white snow.
But I couldn’t let go that bear was a sign that he “loved” me
and helped me ignore the deadness I felt inside.
My skin was hanging off my bones in a taunt manner, like a soaked coat draped on a hanger.
I was a deflated like a balloon, all the air sucked out of me.
I wanted my head to go blank into darkness,
I wished for an eternal slumber as I slipped back under my comforter.
I laid in my bed with my face hidden thinking I could hide my shame.
I just knew that it would be better than this overwhelming guilt from the events of the night before.
That playground where children laugh and play
became a merry go round of the memory that haunts me.
It plays over and over again in my head, like a broken record player.
As soon as I think it has stopped it starts again.
As soon as I think it has stopped it starts again.
Again. Again. Again.
Words Unspoken, the Silent Tongue
By Briana Kennedy
Why don’t I speak?
Because words stumble and trip out of my mouth
Toppling clumsily over my tongue into the stagnate air
Unlike yours which flows like a stream
A Bubbling, golden fountain of knowledge
If I am silent
I can pretend the stupidity is not there
If I open my mouth
I can’t ignore the foolishness of my mind
Students’ eyes are reflecting mirrors that echo and shine
My uncertainties back in my face blinding my confidence
Hence why I don’t speak
I was your Doll
By Briana Kennedy
I was your doll, your play thing
When you held me for the first time, I knew you were the one
You took me down from that lonely self and carried me home
You pick me up in your great big arms and spun me around and around to a song only we could hear
You decked me out in the most lavish dresses you could find,
But you could not see, was this little doll didn’t need anything fancy,
Just your love and care
For a period the we were never apart
Then you became careless and rough with your doll
The little doll would wait patiently counting down the hours till your return
When you finally show up
You jostled and pushed and pulled me around
My dress ripped and tattered near the bossism wear you coaxed it off
I had dust in my eyes that would make me cry
But the sweet little doll was I
I loved you for times you held me, gave me kisses and whispered sweet nothings in my ear
But then one day when you grew tired of playing with me
Shoved me up on a dusty, cluttered shelf
Where I found my self-surrounded by other dolls, long forgotten
This little doll refused to give up hope she knew you would be back
Days came and gone but you never came
Each day her hope dwindled a little bit more, until it was none
I let myself fall off that high balcony
As I tumbled to the ground my face shattered
My hair was tangled, disarrayed, knots
Every part of me broke